Methodology:

My methodology consists of a double-blind, peer reviewed, five-step process that I try to keep as scientific as possible: First, I drink the whiskey. Second, I think deep thoughts about the whiskey. Third, I pull a number out of my ass and assign it to the whiskey. Fourth, I post my thoughts for peer review on Reddit. Fifth, I ignore the peer review, double down blindly and stick to my guns.

Review Scale:

1: This bottle has somehow personally offended me and my integrity should no longer be trusted. (i.e. Vodka)

2: Still might be the product of a blood-feud between me and the bottle, except I was cunning enough not to rate it a 1, possibly to hide notions of personal bias stemming from emotionally repressed trauma. (i.e. Dulcolax)

3: Starting to approach the bottom end of what a mass market whiskey might offer (i.e. Mellow Cor–I mean, what? Nothing. Please don’t hurt me.) 

4: Not the worst, but if it was the choice between this and a regular beer, I’d have a beer. (i.e. Wine)

5: True Indifference. My apathy knows no bounds. (i.e. Anything your children have accomplished)

6: I’m personally not the biggest fan, but I see its value. (i.e. Spiders).  

7: I like it, but wouldn’t buy it again.  (i.e. Amusement Park Turkey Legs)

8: I like it and I would buy it again. (i.e. Amusement Park Churros)

9: A favorite. (i.e. Amusement Park memory of that one time some kid ralphed from the top of a swing ride and some of it hit the woman standing in front of me in line)

10: It’s either April Fools Day, or I’ve been paid off by the distillery and my integrity should no longer be trusted. (i.e. [taking applications])

Rankings

1. Mellow Corn – 10
2. Redbreast 21 – 9.5
3. Barrell Seagrass Grey Label – 9
4. Angel’s Envy Rye – 8.5
5. Redbreast Kentucky Oak – 8
6. Barrell Vantage – 8
7. Barrell Seagrass – 8
8. Barrell Armida – 8
9. Macallan 12 Sherry Oak – 8
10. Midwinter Night’s Dram – 8
11. Wild Turkey 101 12-Year – 8
12. Eagle Rare – 8
13. Blantons – 7.5
14. Barrell Gray Label Bourbon – 7
15. Jefferson’s Ocean Aged at Sea – 7
16. Weller Antique 107 – 6
17. Old Grand-Dard 114 – 5
18. Oppidan Smoke + Sea – 5
19. Jack Daniels Old No. 7 – 4